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Celebrity Handicapper: Who Will Show at the Super Bowl?

The big game is about to bring Silicon Valley a rare dose of VIP sex appeal. So who will make an appearance on the green carpet?


Odds of showing: 2–1.
Per his dour expression at last year’s game, Kanye West might bug out. Then again, the 2020 presidential hopeful might want to circulate. Plus, if Kim isn’t there to take a selfie, did it really happen?

George Lucas
Odds of showing: 10–1.
S.F.’s least favorite museum benefactor just wants to lie low and not overshadow J.J. Abrams, OK? It’s all good—BFF Rahm Emanuel is probably saving him a seat at Disney on Ice.

Steph Curry
Odds of showing: 3–1.
February 7 falls between two Dubs’ home games. If the first-seed Carolina Panthers play, you can bet Steph will be wearing his Cam Newton jersey.

The Zuckerbaby
Odds of showing: 200–1.
When your mom’s a pediatrician, you can’t get away with inhaling the germs of 70,000 screaming fans. Instead, the cute little bundle of LLC votes will likely stay in and practice her legal babble on Beast.

Dwayne “the Rock” Johnson
Odds of showing: 4–1.
Not only is he trying to get people to reconsider his abysmal HBO football show, Ballers, but he also has a soft spot in his heart for San Francisco after watching it get destroyed in San Andreas. Aww, we love you, too, the Rock.

Gwyneth Paltrow
Odds of showing: 15–1.
Though Hollywood’s power uncouple, Paltrow and Coldplay front man Chris Martin, reunited briefly on the band’s recent album, we don’t expect a reprise at the halftime show. But we’ll hold out hope, if only because it would be sooo awkward.

The Grateful Dead
Odds of showing: 10–1.
After getting lost at the concert last June, the Dead have been wandering the stadium, having a maddening LSD-fueled dream about piles of men in spandex who keep trying to steal each other’s grass but don’t ever seem to get anywhere with it.

Originally published in the February issue of San Francisco

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